Wednesday, 6 June 2018

A life update...

Hi everyone...

Long time no speak, I know!

I haven't blogged for well over a year and I'm so sorry about that. I never really thought anyone followed this and I had made the decision to delete the blog. However, logging on tonight I was surprised by the viewing figures and that people were still reading these posts, it honestly amazed me. This isn't going to be a beautifully worded post I spend hours on but an honest update about where I'm at, in both my life and my 'Body Positive' journey.

So much has happened since I last wrote you. My bio is definitely inaccurate now... I completed my undergrad degree in 2016 and graduated from my Masters in December 2017. I began a job in Marketing at a well known art gallery in my home city, which I'm really enjoying. It's busy but I like to be challenged and always want to learn new things, so it's working out well. I miss uni and have these little pangs for it every now and then, but at 24/25 I was definitely ready to get out there into the real world. So much has changed since those early blog posts when I was only in the 2nd year of my undergrad but I'm in a good place right now.

A lot of that has to do with the journey of self-acceptance I have been on for 4 or 5 years now. I'm very dubious about using the term 'Body Positive' because I feel it's a term that's been taken over by the industry to sell further diet and exercise fads. To me, the term is no longer radical enough and has lost its authenticity. Movements behind fat positivity and acceptance are brilliantly fighting back against this, but as a UK size 12/14 woman I don't feel such movements include my body type and it's left me feeling a bit unsure as to where I belong - in terms of movements and the terminology used to describe the original aims of a Body Positive journey.

All I know is that I am on an ever-continuing self-love/self-acceptance journey, I'm not quite there yet but I have come so far from those dark dieting days from when I was a teenager and in my early twenties. For me the term I identify best with is somewhere between self-acceptance and self-love. To me 'self-acceptance' is somewhat negative. It says to me that the body is inherently negative and has to be accepted, authorised, allowed but not loved. However, 'self-love' is a term that has too much pressure associated with it. We don't always love every part of who we are when it comes to both body and personality. I believe that it is being critical, in a fair sense, that allows us to continue growing and enables one to become a better person. For me I'm on a 'self-appreciation' journey. I want to appreciate all of who I am; mind, body and soul - both the good and bad - in order to grow and develop.

Recently I've been thinking about how much intuition plays in this journey and holistic day to day living. Gut feeling, gut instinct - it's everything. Gut feeling told me when things weren't right in my life, when I needed to restore balance in my body and soul, when I have needed to make a change or restore order. Need. Gut instinct and intuition tells you what your body needs, not desires. Whether that's how much your body needs of food and water, to whether it's time to move or change your job.

This concept has been an hallelujah moment for me. Looking back, I've realised that self-appreciations has come from listening to that little voice that tells me what I need in my life and this is concept i'm interested in exploring more, through this blog as a matter of fact. So no the blog will not be deleted. In fact, it's come along at a time when my body has told me I need a creative outlet and I hope this future exploration helps some of you out, as my other posts seem to have done.

The only issue is the blog design, it's very old fashioned and not what I'm about anymore. This is something I want to look into so if anyone has any tips or ideas on how I can change this/template input then please do drop me a line. I'd really like anyone to get in touch who has read this or my other posts and just see where you're at to touch base! <<< Any thoughts welcome!!!

Until we speak again (much sooner than the last time I promise)

H xxx

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